Are You Missing a Face?
When you look in the mirror, who is it that is looking back at you? What is it you see in that reflection? Do you notice hair, eyes, nose, mouth, cheeks, ears, neck, all crafted together to form what is called your face. Perhaps you see a person who is called father, mother, wife, husband, teacher, lawyer, database technician, or athlete; a montage of caricatures that you enliven and bring to the world. Or, maybe, when your eyes meet that mirrored surface, who you see is your self.
Whichever it is, you are right. These are all accurate representations of you. You are a collection of body parts, somehow put together in a form called human. In this way you are unique, and not. You have your own individual physical characteristics and you are also a cookie-cut-out of the human being. In the basic format of physical reality, you are a body with specific human characteristics. This can’t be denied. You can see it in the mirror.
Yet, regardless of your shape, structure, and particular anatomy, you are involved in a myriad of relationships. You are a daughter or son. You are a friend, neighbour, employer or employee. You are someone who is defined by the relationships you are in. As you look in the mirror and see nurse, salesman, artist, clerk, storyteller, accountant, or consumer you are noticing the various guises you wear that hold meaning to you and those you are in contact with. A necessary and vital aspect of who you are is found in the collage of roles that you animate. This can’t be denied. You can see you in the mirror.
It is you however, that is standing in front of the mirror. It is your self looking in. Over time your roles and physique will change. Your face may become worn down or scarred, your relationships will shift, yet you will still be the one checking out your reflection. The self that will always only be you, is right there, staring back off that polished surface. This can’t be denied. You can see I in the mirror.
Your body, your relationships, your self – all are there in the reflection of your life. All are important and inseparable. To deny one, is to reject one of your three vital faces, a whole one-third of your totality, and huge slice of your reality.
With the face of your self, with the face of “I”, you are breathing as an individual. “I understand”, “I feel”, “I want”, “I believe.” Dynamic individuality, a deep sense of meaning and the unique perspective of one-ness emerge from the face of “I”. The essence of your “I” is unlike any other. In fact, there is truly only one “I”. From this most profound place, beauty arises. In the eye of the beholder there is absolute knowingness.
Turn your other cheek and you’ll notice your other face, the one that others see. It is only in relationship with others that you will ever know goodness, value, love. You are always a part of a “we”, and in that part you are whole. Within “we-ness” there is shared significance, mutuality and intimacy. Small and great events occur because of the synergy within togetherness, we-ness, us-ness. The feeling of “our life”, “our commitment”, “our expression” moves as a collective force. This face of “we”, a birthright of yours, is the whole of all of us.
And still, some thing exists. It is beyond what “I” or “we” could ever experience. Your third face observes and interacts without a sense of self, individual or collective. “It” senses everything, and perceives nothing. All meaning is created from the discoveries of this face, yet not by it. “It” provides the pure, never-ending details of reference that your other faces require to live. Your third face is the facts, the forms, the outside. Without imparting belief, this tangible physical face of yours provides an irreproachable view to a life that is ever changing.
How could you feel complete without acknowledging your three faces? Through the eyes of your self-self you see understanding, fantasy, awareness, and fear. Through the eyes of your we-self you see mutuality, commonality, language, and love. Through the eyes of your it-self you see things, processes, functionality, and design. Why would you want to deny one of these views? Why would you want to limit the glory of your existence to the apprehension one of your faces?
Preferences and conditioning have caused you to lean into the truth of one of your faces more than the others. You have found comfort resting in only one view. The one face you choose to see in the mirror has provided you with great meaning, reward, and relief. To open the eyes of your other faces, and admit there is more that you are not awake to, can be an unnerving and enlightening choice.
An authentic life, a fully integrated life, asks that you start admitting that you are all that. Open the eyes of your self and admit that you are feelings, awareness, insight, and imagination. See the reflection of your we-ness and acknowledge that you are relationship, collaboration, exchange, and conflict. Allow the image of your it-ness to be known as appearance, structure, process, and body. In that gesture, you give life to your entire self. In the simple act of confessing you do exist in these ways, the wrinkles of your three faces begin to relax. As you continually breath in the reality of this all-pervading truth, you gain the capacity to stand wide open as a human being with an endless face.
